Samuel:  http://muscleandbrawn.com/supplement-review-iforce-nutrition%E2%80%99s-hemavol/]
you should start taking this with me
it makes your dick bigger…
fact

Samuel:  http://muscleandbrawn.com/supplement-review-iforce-nutrition%E2%80%99s-hemavol/]

you should start taking this with me

it makes your dick bigger…

fact

Samuel:  oh i dindt realize it was ChiMo friday
 me:  ChiMo?
Samuel:  child molestor
 me:  CHI MO FRIDAYYYYYYwoop
Samuel:  best friday ever!
me:  you getting out early i’m about to leave
   i guess ill just go workout and beatoff
Samuel: looking forward to the weekend!
  just got my suns out guns out tanktop
me:  did u get me one
  its so gay unless we both have it
Samuel:  its super super gay 
  but im still gonna wear it to the standard tomorrow
  and fuck dudes
  i bought it witha  groupon, so no i didn’t get u one
me:  fuck you man
  are you gonna nair my back this afternoon?
Samuel:  yea as long as u get the spot for me that i cant shave

me:  tru
Samuel:  and as long as i can lube ur anus with it

Samuel:  oh i dindt realize it was ChiMo friday

 me ChiMo?

Samuel child molestor

 me:  CHI MO FRIDAYYYYYYwoop

Samuel best friday ever!

me:  you getting out early i’m about to leave

   i guess ill just go workout and beatoff

Samuel: looking forward to the weekend!

  just got my suns out guns out tanktop

me:  did u get me one

  its so gay unless we both have it

Samuel:  its super super gay 

  but im still gonna wear it to the standard tomorrow

  and fuck dudes

  i bought it witha  groupon, so no i didn’t get u one

me fuck you man

  are you gonna nair my back this afternoon?

Samuel:  yea as long as u get the spot for me that i cant shave

me:  tru

Samuel:  and as long as i can lube ur anus with it

Samuel:  blood = underrated lubricant
me:  WOW
grossest thing i think you’ve ever said

Samuel:  blood = underrated lubricant

me:  WOW

grossest thing i think you’ve ever said

Anonymous said: do you enjoy thrift shopping?

Sam only enjoys thrift cocking, duh. 

me:  so do you think your body looks good now from all of your training?
Samuel:  it definitely looks better than it did 3 months ago
down about 5% body fat
increased upper body muscle by about 5 pounds
plus every 5 pounds of fat you lose 
you gain 1/2 an inch of dick size
so i’ve increased from 1.5 inches to 2, 
FINALLY now instead of awkwardly gyrating 
when im inside of a girl, 
i can actually move it in and out….kinda 
me:  your dick is now 2inches?
so you’ve got penetration capability now? 
Samuel:  yea, but most of the time 
i just kinda slap it against the clit
dont post that

me:  so do you think your body looks good now from all of your training?

Samuel:  it definitely looks better than it did 3 months ago

down about 5% body fat

increased upper body muscle by about 5 pounds

plus every 5 pounds of fat you lose

you gain 1/2 an inch of dick size

so i’ve increased from 1.5 inches to 2,

FINALLY now instead of awkwardly gyrating

when im inside of a girl,

i can actually move it in and out….kinda 

me:  your dick is now 2inches?

so you’ve got penetration capability now? 

Samuel:  yea, but most of the time

i just kinda slap it against the clit

dont post that

Samuel:  my grandma just called me out on my sisters wall post 
for calling you a mother fucker
thanks granma
Samuel:  Rachel:  2 girls 1 cup?
 Sam:  worse
 Rachel:  I don’t want to know
Sam:  shake that bear
 google it if you dare…not at work
 Rachel:  nope
 I don’t want to know
me:  thats your sister right?
You’re trying to show her a movie of a couple having sex on a bear?
Samuel:  hahahaha its hilarious
except for the ending is disturbing
me:  how so?
Samuel:  when the dogs attack the bear
me:  I didn’t get that far
how many times you’ve watched?
Samuel:  just once
me:  whats your favorite part?
Samuel:  when she starts yelling SHAKE THAT BEAR
obviously
im going to start yelling that at sporting events
or in the middle of bars
me:  or in bed?
Samuel:  that would require me to have sex
which im currently not doing
and definitely not doing once people read creepy sam

Samuel:  my grandma just called me out on my sisters wall post

for calling you a mother fucker

thanks granma

Samuel:  Rachel:  2 girls 1 cup?

Sam:  worse

Rachel:  I don’t want to know

Sam:  shake that bear

google it if you dare…not at work

Rachel:  nope

I don’t want to know

me:  thats your sister right?

You’re trying to show her a movie of a couple having sex on a bear?

Samuel:  hahahaha its hilarious

except for the ending is disturbing

me:  how so?

Samuel:  when the dogs attack the bear

me:  I didn’t get that far

how many times you’ve watched?

Samuel:  just once

me:  whats your favorite part?

Samuel:  when she starts yelling SHAKE THAT BEAR

obviously

im going to start yelling that at sporting events

or in the middle of bars

me:  or in bed?

Samuel:  that would require me to have sex

which im currently not doing

and definitely not doing once people read creepy sam

Samuel:  She’s really old. yea the best part is u can fuck her 
and then she’ll send u a check for $20 every birthday
u can fuck her then she can take out her fake teeth 
and drink some metamucil
u can fuck her then help her back into her adult diaper
me:  like a grandmother?
Samuel:  yea
GILF

Samuel:  She’s really old. yea the best part is u can fuck her

and then she’ll send u a check for $20 every birthday

u can fuck her then she can take out her fake teeth

and drink some metamucil

u can fuck her then help her back into her adult diaper

me:  like a grandmother?

Samuel:  yea

GILF

Anonymous said: is sam single?

and ready to creep you out, yes 

Samuel:  well i invited 2 and a half girls for tomorrow
(the half is the midget)
me:  nice how’s her personality?
Samuel:  shes like a slutty little puppet
ello poppet
me:  is that british voice of your little person slutty girlfriend?
Samuel:  ello poppet time for some tea and crumpets…
the crumpet is my dick and the tea is my jizm
me:  do you suck crumpets or just chew them?
Samuel:  u fuckin chew the shit out of them
me:  so you want her to chew you dick?
Samuel:  yea
i dont use it anyway
me:  what would you jerkoff with then?
just the nub?
Samuel:  i would finger myself in the hole where my dick 
used to be
me:  that is fucking gross

Samuel:  well i invited 2 and a half girls for tomorrow

(the half is the midget)

me:  nice how’s her personality?

Samuel:  shes like a slutty little puppet

ello poppet

me:  is that british voice of your little person slutty girlfriend?

Samuel:  ello poppet time for some tea and crumpets…

the crumpet is my dick and the tea is my jizm

me:  do you suck crumpets or just chew them?

Samuel:  u fuckin chew the shit out of them

me:  so you want her to chew you dick?

Samuel:  yea

i dont use it anyway

me:  what would you jerkoff with then?

just the nub?

Samuel:  i would finger myself in the hole where my dick

used to be

me:  that is fucking gross

Samuel:  rachel:  EW OMG OMG OMG EWWWWWWW STOP
if i had a dime for every time i heard this….i’d have at least $6.80
me:  what?
"I have aids"?
Samuel:  i was just telling her this story about fucking a girl on 
her period
and how it looked like a tapioca abortion or a murder scene
with blood all over the walls
me:  what a prude bitch

Samuel:  rachel:  EW OMG OMG OMG EWWWWWWW STOP

if i had a dime for every time i heard this….i’d have at least $6.80

me:  what?

"I have aids"?

Samuel:  i was just telling her this story about fucking a girl on

her period

and how it looked like a tapioca abortion or a murder scene

with blood all over the walls

me:  what a prude bitch